7 Ways to Know If Your Therapist Is A Good Fit

So you’ve taken the plunge and started attending therapy—congratulations! That first step is often the hardest. Now you might be wondering: How do I know if this therapist is the right fit for me?

Therapy isn’t one-size-fits-all. What works for one person may not work for another, and that’s okay. Finding the right therapist can take some time, but here are a few key things to keep in mind when evaluating the therapeutic relationship.

1. You Feel Comfortable With Your Therapist

You may not feel ready to dive into your deepest struggles right away, but over time, you should start to feel safe, seen, and understood. A strong therapist-client connection helps create the trust needed to open up and do meaningful work.

2. Your Therapist Is Supportive and Nonjudgmental

A good therapist provides a safe, nonjudgmental space where you can be honest—even about the things you feel shame or regret about. You should feel like you can show up authentically without fear of being criticized or dismissed.

3. They Challenge You—In a Healthy Way

While support and empathy are essential, effective therapy also includes gentle challenges. Your therapist may help you explore blind spots, reframe negative thought patterns, or step outside your comfort zone to promote growth and change.

4. Your Therapist Maintains Healthy Boundaries

Professional boundaries matter. If your therapist frequently cancels appointments, shows up late, overshares about their personal life, or fails to uphold clear practice policies (like cancellation fees), these may be red flags. A strong therapeutic relationship includes consistency and trust.

5. They Don’t Just Tell You What to Do

Therapy isn’t about advice-giving—it’s about empowerment. Rather than offering quick fixes, a skilled therapist helps you strengthen your decision-making, improve your self-awareness, and uncover deeper patterns that may be holding you back.

6. They Welcome Feedback and Concerns

Your ability to raise concerns about therapy itself is a crucial part of the process. If something isn’t working—whether it’s the approach, the pace, or even the way your therapist interacts—you should feel safe bringing it up. A responsive and open therapist will work with you to adjust the process or discuss whether another referral might be more appropriate.

7. They Respect Your Identity and Beliefs

Your therapist doesn’t need to share your exact views or background, but they should respect and affirm who you are. That includes your cultural background, religion, gender identity, sexuality, relationship structure, and values. Culturally competent therapy means creating a space where your experiences and identity are honored.

Final Thoughts: Give It Time, But Trust Your Instincts

While it is important to feel that your therapist is a good fit for you, it is also equally important to make sure your expectations are realistic. Therapy is not magic, and it does require a lot of work, vulnerability, and patience. It’s not about instant results—it’s about healing, growth, and emotional insight over time. Before you switch therapists, consider discussing any issues with them directly (as discussed above). Some people may “therapist hop” as a way to avoid getting to deeper issues, so doing some soul-searching and/or talking to your therapist first may be helpful in making the best decision for you.

The most important thing? You deserve to feel supported and respected throughout your mental health journey. If you’re interested in starting therapy, feel free to reach out today.

Related Article: What to Expect From Your First Therapy Session